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Couldn’t say it better
My mother-in-law is a farm wife and retired high school English
teacher. She inspired the likes of me to recite and write poetry
in the ninth grade.
She often clearly and colorfully paints the situation with a minimum
amount of words from an arsenal of old sayings. Here are some
of her descriptions and my translations (only needed because I’ve
taken her comments out of context).
Oh, she’s just a bird claw.
-- I wish I were that thin.
Home, James, and don’t spare the horses.
-- Get the car started and drive home, Bob (her husband). The
service was slow. The food wasn’t that good. I’m half sick and
can’t wait to get to bed.
Bob doesn’t care for that spotted dog from the east.
-- Every time that Dalmatian comes over from the neighboring place
on our east side, Bob throws rocks at him.
How far is it to wood and water?
-- Question to a bewildered clerk at the mall: We’ve been shopping
all day. Our feet are killing us. Where’s the nearest restaurant?
He’s a long, tall drink of water.
-- Even though he wasn’t a very good student, he’s one of the
best basketball players the school ever had.
She looks like Mrs. Astor’s horse.
-- She’s overdressed.
You must be busier than a cranberry merchant.
-- To my wife (during harvest time) who’s also a teacher and was
writing report cards while taking a course for her master’s degree.
He’s as handy as a pocket on a shirt.
-- Besides getting the toilet to stop running, that repairman
was able to fix the sticky lock that Bob and the boys haven’t
figured out for 20 years.
I’ll hide and watch.
-- I’m not going to say anything. I’ll just wait and see what
happens.
She needs another gewgaw.
-- There are too many lawn ornaments in that yard.
We're all dressed up with no place to go.
--The plans fell through.
I feel like I'm sent for and can't come.
--I don't feel comfortable in these clothes and I should have
had my hair done.
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