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• If you’re looking for self-enrichment, to build character, here’s
an exercise for you: No one is given less respect than a crossing
guard posted at a high school intersection.
• We used to write letters. Then we exchanged cassette tapes.
They were replaced by once-a-year get-togethers. Then phone calls.
Now we send e-mail.
• I have five kids to care for. They are 11, 13, 16, 83, and 84.
The hardest one to handle is 83, followed in difficulty by the
13-year-old and the 16-year-old. The easiest one is 11. She has
diabetes. The 84-year-old is easy, too. She has Alzheimer’s. This
tells me something.
• Some jobs are definitely worth paying to have done, like getting
a Christmas tree to stand straight, washing a car, fixing any
kind of leak, restoring the texture of a plasterboard wall to
original condition after a fist-sized hole has been made in it,
or properly timing and applying weed-and-feed treatments to your
lawn.
• Every time I go to the grocery store, I get in the wrong line.
It also happens at the bank and the car wash. Every time.
• I live in Wisconsin. But I don’t hunt, fish, ski, boat, skate,
snowmobile, or camp. What does that tell you?
• Every time I’m sent to the grocery store with a list, one item
requires 20 minutes to locate.
• I was gong to be the next Hemingway. Now I floss, fertilize
and water the lawn, and drive a mini-van.
• Sue’s gettin’ heavy, and her dog got fat.
• I did the absolute best thing I could have done today. I visited
Betty in the nursing home and surprised her with a flower for
her birthday.
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